Sunday, April 22, 2012

Don't you want me baby?

Don't, don't you want me?  You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me.
Don't, don't you want me?  You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me.
It's much too late to find, you think you've changed your mind, you better change it back or we
will both be sorry.....


Though I would like to say once in a while, it seems more often than not we encounter those disbelievers, the one's who can't imagine you don't want to be with them.  I haven't decided if it is their ego or insecurities that lead them to the disillusions that you need to be a part of their life, I have decided however, they are the most difficult to ditch.


After having been married for over a decade, re-entering the dating world was a scary proposition.  It was an entirely different scene than what I remembered.  There was this thing called the internet where people now met, and speaking on the phone to arrange a date was replaced by texting.  I was a fairly hip person, and figured I could adjust and conform to this new way of dating.  What I didn't consider was this new arena allowed the creepers to easily camouflage themselves, and enabled their "stalkerish" qualities to soar to a new realm all together.  On my very first date after my split, upon arrival at my home, (this was the first date, I had no idea the old fashioned come to your home, walk to the door and ring the bell, was not only "out", but utterly insane), rather than presenting me with flowers, he thrusted a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream at me, which he had discovered was my favorite after he googled me and found my Facebook page which contained this juicy tidbit. Eeeewwww, was my first thought, immediately followed by "shit, he knows where I live".  I've learned some good lessons over the last four years, unfortunately, some of them pertained to escaping the ever persistent pursuers.


Day (way) 3:


New Lovers:  They show up for your date with a half gallon of your favorite ice cream (hopefully not at your home); at some point during the middle of your date excuse yourself to powder your nose, or "drain the main vein", and never come back.  I've found even the most persistent creepers get highly insulted by this act  on a first or second date and you generally will only hear from them once, usually via text, to tell you off.  Do not engage or explain!!


Short Term Investors: In month two or three they begin talking about moving in together or start responding to posts from the opposite sex on your Facebook page staking their claim on you to anyone they deem is a potential threat.  This will call for a combination tactic.....abruptly cut off all communication, set any online social platforms to private settings so they don't realize they've been blocked and don't respond to any texts, emails or phone calls.  After a couple of days have a close friend or family member call them and explain that you have been admitted to either a rehab clinic or mental facility out of state.  Make sure they do not elaborate on any details, such as location or how long you will be "away".  Also make sure it is a person they have heard of, but do not personally know and that they have no way to contact them.  Be cautious, as they may not believe and do a drive by or two or three, have your bases covered for these measures and you should be rid of them in about a week or so.


Long Haulers:   When you've been in the relationship a while and you recognize the increasing number of unhealthy attributes your partner possesses in terms of control, there are a number of steps you will need to take to not only end the relationship, but also maintain your safety.


  • Don't beat yourself up for being in this relationship to begin with
  • Get to the point quickly, declare your decision to end the relationship without hostility or cruelty
  • Be decisive and don't fall for promises to change
  • Leave quickly, or if you live together have your belongings removed prior to ending things
  • Remain detached; cease communication, avoid mutual friends
  • If you feel your partner has the potential to be dangerous log a report with your local police department.
  • Wear sneakers when alone in public, much easier to run away in.

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