Should I stay or should I go?

One day is fine, next is black, so if you want me off your back, well you gotta let me know, should I stay or should I go?


This seems to be the question of the day for many people in relationships today.  Whether it has been a lengthy union, you've only been on a couple of dates, or you're somewhere in the middle, this question is bound to cross your mind.


The length of your romance will have definitely made an impact on the length of your pro vs. con list which was suggested you make.  It will also make a difference in the tactics used to end the relationship if that in fact is what you've decided to do.

Because the approach to ending a relationship will vary based on how long you've been involved, different scenarios will be touched on within each post......so, here we go.

Day (or way) 2:


For the new lovers;  if you've only been on a few dates and you've decided you just don't like the way he or she parts their hair, and you simply can't stand the thought of sitting through a second dinner listening to stories from their youth the easiest way to lose someone quickly.....tell them you love them.  If you're dealing with a reasonably normal person, and you're only on a second date, this will have them scanning the room quickly for the nearest exit sign.  However, be cautious, if there is a remote chance that the person you are uttering these words to is a cling on, this could backfire.


For the short term investors;  it's been a couple of months, you've introduced them to a few friends, but the vibe just isn't what you were hoping for.  You can't place your finger on what it is that isn't holding your attention, as they have quite a few good qualities, in fact, your pro list may even be longer than your con, but again, you just don't see a trip home to meet the family in the cards.....take the "it's not you, it's me approach".  One of my favorite gentle let downs is you've recently realized you're not over a past relationship and it isn't fair to them.  This spares feelings, can't be argued with, and is so much better than "I'm not sure what it is, I just don't have feelings for you in that way".  It provides an answer, when you really don't have one.


For the long haulers;  you've been together for over a year, may even be married, you've made your lists and given them some honest and heartfelt consideration and made the decision your time has come to an end.  There are many steps ahead of you to making the break, the first will be to sit down your partner and be truthful.  Explain why it is the relationship is not fulfilling for you any longer.  Of course, there will be instances where the reasons are like neon signs, such as infidelity.  But even in those cases, have the respect not only for them, but for yourself as well to lay it all on the line.  Speaking out loud your thoughts gives them validity and gives you strength.  The strength you will surely need to follow through on the steps to come in making a clean departure.